So, I'm tired. It's almost 10:30pm here on Saturday night. We were all sitting down watching a family movie. I was contemplating whether or not to blog, and was leaning toward the "not" because I'm just plum tired. But then, Craig got a phone call...called into work. He was irritated and disappointed. But, that's our life here. He's 2nd in charge, so that'll probably happen alot.
Which is kind of funny.... because we (him and I) were just talking about this scenario earlier today. About how this base is so different for us. For him - his career. For us -- our family. How much change it all is. And I'm first to say that I am all for moving in the military and getting to experience new places. I love PCSing. In theory. I love the outcome, how at the end of our time at a new duty station, I feel like I've accomplished something, how I've learned and grown. But, I must admit that the getting there, to that change, it's not always the funnest. Sometimes, change hurts. Sometimes, in order to get to the good outcome, we have to withstand some growing pains.
And I've been feeling the growing pains this week as we're getting settled into our new home here in Japan. And lately, as I've been unpacking and painting and organizing my house away, I've had my moments. My happy moments. When I'm thrilled that we're finally here with Craig. Intrigued by driving on the left side of the road. Curious about the language and the culture and all the new things we'll get to see and do and learn. And then, I have moments of sadness. And mostly, lately, because all I've been doing is unpacking -- it's about my house. My new house and my old home.
You see, as I unpack all of my familiar things into this unfamiliar house, I am reminded about how I had really gotten into a groove in our last home. And I miss it. I miss my painted walls, my yard, and how I finally had everything so perfectly organized. I had figured out how to use every available foot of space in that home. And with that came good routines and schedules, and...we were happy. Our home in Montgomery wasn't big...it was actually probably pretty close to the same size that this house is. But, we were settled.
And at the beginning of this week, as I walked around this new house of ours, I started to get a bit discouraged. This house is older. And build to withstand weather. It is entirely cement and our floors are all tile. We have three bathrooms but only one has a shower. Our ceilings are all angeled and none of them have the cute crown molding that had given our last house so much charm. And the more and more I thought things like this, the more these kind of thoughts kept coming. It was so easy to see the good in my last house, our last base, our last city, all our old friends -- and so easy to see fault in all that was new here.
And the more and more discouraged I got, the more and more I knew I had to figure out a way to snap out of it. To get over it. To "buck up" and make it work, because feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to get me anywhere. And just as I was trying to turn my attitude about our new house around...I stumbled upon something. Literally -- I tripped over this little sign.
It was given to me by my friend Dee as we were leaving Montgomery. Instead of giving me a card, she gave me this. And on the back she wrote:
Dear Zaleski's,
As the Air Force takes you from place to place; it is not the size of the house that defines who you are but the strength of your "home". Your home has inspired me in more ways than one and for that I am so thankful. Charity, you have made Montgomery tolerable with your kind heart and open mind. Thank you fore being...you!
Love, The Wild Family
It was at that moment, upon stumbling on this sign, that I realized what I was really missing. I was missing all of the things that were familiar to me. Yes, this house is old. It's not nearly as cute as our old house was. But I can change that around in no time. Because, as my husband, Craig keeps reminding me... that when we first moved into our house in Montgomery, I wasn't too thrilled with it either. When I complain about all of our tile floors, our ugly kitchen ceiling or our yard that is lacking in any kind of privacy, he gently reminds me that it's not the floor, the ceiling, or the yard that's bugging me...but that I haven't made this house my home yet. This last week, my husband has been good. He's been patient and loving and kind. And I've needed that.
And the last few days, I've been painting and organizing like crazy. Trying to put my mark on this base house. Trying to give it some character. Today, Craig and I spent a good few hours in my daughter's room -- hanging pictures (into cement walls, yep, that takes time), rebuilding a shelf, and talking. We talked about our goals for while we're here, what life will be like (and won't be like), how much bigger our kids seem...all while listening to them playing board games dowstairs, giggling and hollering, all in good fun. It was a nice day. Not only because our house is starting to look like our home. But...because it's starting to feel that way to. And that, I don't believe comes with painting walls. That comes from dreaming and talking and laughing and loving -- and having friends that know the right gift to send along -- welcome home! (And thanks Dee, that gift was perfetct then...and even more perfect now!!)
What an awesome gift and message on the back from your friend Charity. And don't forget that 'with God all things are possible'....if your feeling blue, look up! He's there with you!!!!! Whatever you decide to acomplish while you are in Japan, I believe you will. I love you and miss you all!
Posted by: Mom | July 11, 2009 at 08:03 AM
Yah, and OK, there's one color of wall behind that plack....livingroom??????
Posted by: Mom | July 11, 2009 at 08:06 AM
Ha! You are quite observant, Mom! No, that's the cream color that the base paints EVERYTHING. I guess it's not so bad. But, it's just what our base house is always painted, and it represesnts just that, so you know me... I've got to change it up. But good try! :-)
Posted by: Charity | July 11, 2009 at 05:31 PM
Charity,
It looks like my gift did exactly what I hoped it would...and I meant every word! I'm sure your new home will have "Charity" written all over it sooner than you think!
By the way, in true Charity fashion, I think you may have inspired me to try something new....there may be a "Wild Family" blog coming to a computer screen near you...we'll see! :-)
Posted by: Dee | July 12, 2009 at 09:54 PM
Hey Zaleski's!!! So glad things are humming along for you all!!! We are having BIG rain today...miss you already, but so nice to find you are blogging right along and keeping us all informed!!! Can't wait to hear all the special ways your house becomes your home...once again!!! You are getting to be a pro, when you realize 'I've got to snap out of this'!!!...and you DO!!! Love you so much, Judy
Posted by: judymarsh | July 13, 2009 at 03:09 PM
Dee, I hope you DO start blogging -- I'd be a faithful reader, that's for sure!! Thanks again for that gift, I can't wait to hang it up. It meant more to me then I think I told you at the time. Miss you! :-)
Posted by: Charity | July 13, 2009 at 09:01 PM
Judy, I guess I had never thought of it like that - good way to look at it. Yep, I'm pretty happy here now. I've realized that there is so much cool stuff to see and do -- so many great new people to meet, that the house is only a small portion of it. We'll be good. We miss you guys too, but are very glad we got to spend so much time with you before moving here!! Love ya!!
Posted by: Charity | July 13, 2009 at 09:03 PM
Glad y'all made it safe and sound. Jamie has been keeping me updated! I know she misses y'all!!!
Posted by: Robin | July 15, 2009 at 08:33 AM