Charity's Crazy Beautiful Life

Weight Confessions and some Good News!

First, the confessions...

Yes, I have been working out. But this week, not so much. Today, my Thursday, I finally went to the pool for my second water aerobics of the week. And I was kind of beating myself up over it. That it was only my second class and I hadn't done more this week. I was beating myself up for eating that sweet pastry yesterday. Beating myself up for not going to bed earlier...so I could get up early to work out. Plus, have you heard the studies about how people who sleep less gain weight, or have trouble taking weight off, at least?

Yes, I've realized that I do that alot - beat myself up over things! That I'm a perfectionist and I hold myself to pretty high standards. But the thing is...I internalize all those standards and don't let many people know that I'm beating myself up. (Do we all do that?) I pull that sunny disposition out of my pocket, put a smile on my face, and decide to look at the glass half full - and just deal. And maybe eat a sweet or two when I haven't met my own expectations. Or a plate of chips and salsa. And worst thing, I'd eat it at night while watching tv - a true couch potato! And for years now, I've been covering up my unhappiness about my weight, my constant thoughts and obsession about it by eating myself bigger. Oh how I was missing the mark - how does that even make since? It doesn't, not at all, but it's what was happening! 

And oh how embarrassing it got. First off, I'm a pysch major - shouldn't I know better? Shouldn't I have caught the mind games I was playing with myself? The voids I was filling with chocolate cake and Dorritos? I loved to read health books and magazines. I knew what I was supposed to be doing...so why would I make my family a nice healthy dinner before leaving for my night classes...then go grab fast food for my dinner on my break? I don't know for sure, but I'm working it out and trying to get to the bottom of why I slowly tortured myself like this.   

You see, I was busy and wrapped up with good things in Alabama...PTO, my Bachelors degree, the kids sports and scouts, my bible study. And I don't wish that I hadn't been wrapped up and involved in all of those things that helped shape me and mold me into the woman I left Alabama being. I'm thankful for all the things I learned, how I grew and the wonderful people I met while doing those things. I just think that when you're wrapped up in good things, it's hard to see that sometimes...even good things aren't so great when they are done in excess or obsessed over. And I can be a bit obsessive about things that I care about. I was a bit obsessive about my degree and PTO. So much so, that I let my health fall to the wayside. And while we lived in Alabama, I watched the pounds creep up the scale, up by hind end, and pile onto my gut...and then there I was again, beating myself up for not being that perfect version of the me I saw, the version of me that none of you have ever got to meet.

And while we lived in Alabama, I gained 40 pounds. FORTY flippin' pounds!! Forty MORE pounds, because when we moved to Alabama, I was already a good sixty pounds overweight! So, I loved Alabama. I had a great time there. I grew as a person. I met great people. And...I gained weight. Lots of it!

And by the time we were leaving Alabama I was embarrassed to even see family again after all the weight I had gained. I was ashamed at how I looked and how I had let myself go. And my age was hitting me hard, as I was realizing that this is my last year in my twenties, that I am soon to be thirty, and that I had been fat for an entire decade! That my children had never seen me fit and tone. That my looks, my health, and my self-esteem was deteriorating at a rapid rate. And then...at that point...I vowed that it had to stop!

I knew that if I didn't get a grip on what was going on with me...what food I was putting into my mouth, what exercise I wasn't getting, how I was hiding emotions with eating, that the stress of this move from Alabama to Japan would put me over the edge. At first, I begged family members to apply to be on The Biggest Loser with me. But the bad thing was, there wasn't anyone else in my family that needed to lose weight THAT bad...but me! So then, I started with small things. Not drinking soda and trying to drink more water, things like that. 

During the five months we were in limbo between Alabama, and during our entire stressful move to Japan, I climbed on a scale every once in a while...and was elated! Ecstatic, really. Not because I had lost weight. But just because I hadn't gained any weight. I thought that was inevitable...gaining weight during the most stressful move of my life. And then, I was noticing a pound or two gone. Here or there. And by the time I had got to Japan, I had lost between 15-20 pounds from the time we left Alabama. I was relieved. Just happy that I hadn't gained weight. But I also knew that if I didn't start making some life changes, that I'd get back into the pattern I was in in Montgomery and I'd either stay the same or gain more weight. And I wasn't going to let that happen!

The Good news...

So since I've been here in Japan, about a month and a half, I have really been trying hard to lose weight. I have NOT been dieting! I have been making some life changes that I think I can continue with, so I can live healthier in all aspects of who I am. They include drinking more water, moving more, daily devotionals, not eating snacks after dinner (that was a hard one), eating a good breakfast and...working out! And I saw a few more pounds drop off here and there to where I could confidently claim the loss of 20 pounds. I was excited...motivated. I knew I was heading down the right path.

But then, this week happened. A rut. And so often times I fall into a rut and don't pull myself out if it - and then that's the end of it. I go back to what's easy, my old lifestyle.

So you see, that is why I was soooo beating myself up for not going to workout more this week. And I even had a sort of good reason. I wasn't feeling so hot earlier on in the week.  Girl issues that I'm sure none of you want to hear about...so 'nough said! The other reason, which isn't as good as the first, is that I've been sucked (ha ha, pardon the corny pun, I just couldn't help myself) into reading the Twilight Series. I'm on the last book now - so I think I'll be able to resurface and life will resume as normal here shortly.

Ok, I digress...back to this morning. I got home from water aerobics feeling good about the work out (it made me sweat - which YES, is possible, even in the pool!), but not feeling so great about missing so many workouts this week. And my daughter had this waiting for me for breakfast...

 what a sweetheart, hmn? It's a low fat yogurt, banana, and granola parfait. Yum!! My family has been sooo supportive in my endeavor to be healthier! And then, I sat there at the breakfast table and decided that I wasn't going to beat myself up anymore about not working out. That I'm NOT perfect, that I never will be...and that beating myself up over it is stupid because it just makes me want to make a chocolate cake and indulge in it - the whole thing - all by myself! Nope, this morning I decided that I am going to let myself slip and slide and trip up, but I am NOT going to waver off of this path of getting healthy.

Then I went and got on my scale to do my weekly weigh-in. And...I jumped and stomped and yelped and... did a happy dance. I have officially lost 30 pounds since we left Alabama in February. THIRTY pounds. That was my goal by my 30th birthday, to lose thirty pounds. I've made it! Hit my goal, and I still have four more weeks to go!!! So maybe I can lose all of the 40 pounds that I gained over the last four years in the South by then! I don't know if I can, but I sure am gonna try! And...I'm gonna try to stop beating myself up over the things I can't do, don't do, and am not -- and try to pat myself on the back every once in a while for the things I can do, do do, and will accomplish!

Weekend Ramblings

1. The Typhoon came, went, and wasn't much more to us than rain and wind. And life went on on this island like there was never a mention of a typhoon. Actually, it kept going on like there was no mention of a typhoon the whole time there was mention of it. Funny little island I live on.

2. We had a busy weekend. Lots of Birthday parties. Four to be exact. And get this, I did not eat ONE piece of cake. Not one! Yes, I'm trying to be good. (Emphasis on the trying.) Well, unless you call the little strawberry cheescake cupcake....cake. I ate one of those. And they were SO stinkin' good. Which means, I should be very proud that I ONLY ate one, right?

3. I have been working out lately. Alot. And early. Even on wekends. NOT typical Charity behavior which means, yes, I am motivated. (Hey, if you lived on the land of beaches and beach bodies, you would be very motivated too!) I've been motivated like this before. So I say that I'm "back on the workout wagon". And it feels good. It's helping me to sleep better and feel better and be better. I can't wait 'til I can say it's helping me to look better! When I can, I'll definitely share pictures!

4. Allyssa went to Okuma (a military resort up North) this weekend with our neighbors -- who have two daughters her age named...Alyssa and Allison. They call themselves the Triple A Batteries. Too cute. She came home and let me just say...she needs to recharge her battery. She had a great time and is exhausted because of it. I'm glad she's already making such good friends!

5. I wrote out my goals of working out this week. And painting. And hanging pictures. And having a little time with my new friends. And spending time with my kids. And I'm hoping to get it all done. I feel motivated this week. Which is the opposite of last week where I wanted to get alot done, but ended up getting a whole lot of nothing finished. So I hope I can get alot accomplished this week. Wish me luck!

6. Daziel did a football camp last week. Four hours a night then four hours on Saturday. He'll do it again this week. It's tackle football, and much to Craig and I's surprise, he is LOVING it. (The camp was only for kids age 11-18 so Colby couldn't go.) He has actually asked us to sign him up for tackle football this year. And the motivation and excitement he has shown for this camp has made us agree to do it. So we'll be signing both Daziel and Colby up in the next few weeks. I've held out for as long as I could... now these testosterone pumping males in my family have won. I'm going over to the dark side and my boys are finally playing tackle football...ooohhh, I can't decide if I'm scared or excited. Probably a bit of both.

7. We're dog sitting a very fat, stinky, snorting, and hilarious English Bull Dog named Harley. We love him! He belongs to the same neighbors who took Allyssa to Okuma this weekend. Now they're heading off to Tokyo to do their school shopping. (Great idea! Maybe next year.) So Harley...he reminds me of a dog named Stella...who belongs to my good friend, Dee...which really makes me miss Dee. Note to self: give Dee a call this week!

8. I just found out that they offer DSLR Photography classes at our arts and crafts center on base. They tell you to bring your camera to class and they'll help show you how to use it...the right way! Which is so awesome because I am soooo NOT a "read the manual" type of girl. I can't learn that way. I have to be shown how to do something. And... since I've had my camera since March of last year, I think I should learn how to take it off of the manual settings!  So, as soon as I'm done painting, and hanging pictures, and building a wall unit, and all my other unfinished projects, I'll sign up for one. I can't wait! Maybe this class will help motivate me to get my long list of "to-do's" done!

9. That clock that I posted about last time on my side bar -- it's a flake. A liar. It is showing you YOUR time, not mine. I'll work on that. Someday. Maybe.

10. I've officially been in Japan...on Okinawa...for a month. It seems like much longer! And so far, so good...mostly. I wonder what the next month will bring. I can't wait to see...

Our first typhoon - update

 So you may have heard that a typhoon is heading our way here in Japan. We ARE getting alot of wind and rain from the typhoon that was headed our way. It was originally supposed to hit us directly, but it looks like it's taking a turn and it won't be so bad for us here on Okinawa. The best website I've found to track it (if you're interested) is this one.  The picture above? NOT at all what it looks like here. It's just a nice picture of a pretty sunset back home; something we probably won't get here for a few days.

Also, I just wanted to let you know that I've added a couple of clocks on the right sidebar. That is for all of you who are in the states. The clocks tell what time it is here on Okinawa. The top clock tells the time and the day of the week. The bottom one tells the time and time of day (a.m. or p.m.) and if you move your mouse over it, it changes to the date. So...I just thought that it'd be helpful for some of you who are either too afraid to call, thinking it's the middle of the night OR don't think of it and are calling us in the middle of the night. No worries, we still love ya, either which way.

Another note, we do have our vonage phone. Which is a Washington state number, and will only cost you what it'd typically cost you to call a land line in Washington. If you want that number, and don't have it, send me an email or leave a comment here and I'll get it to ya.

Ok, now off to take my dog out in the wind for his "nightly rounds". He's kind of weirded out by it! I'll keep you all posted on the typhoon outcome. Good night!

Inventive Entrepreneurs

Nothing too exciting went on here last weekend. Craig and I decided to stay home and really work on our house. And I'm happy to say that I think it's closer to being done. We're tackling some pretty big projects. We're going to be so pleased with the outcome, I already know! I can't wait to share them with you! So, needless to say, no exploring this weekend. It's hard to stay home when there are so many fun things to do on our lovely island. Beaches to discover. Restaurants to try. But, it would also be ridiculous to still be "settling in" come Christmastime.

Since we've been home working on things, my kids have taken up doing a few things of their own. They've "Gone into Business".  For many years my kids have done the lemonade stand or other inventive things to earn a little extra $. In fact, there must be something about summertime that brings about their desire to be entrepreneurs. Check out what they did last summer.   Just months ago, while we were visiting family, they'd "set up shop" with their cousins and have a beauty parlor, a restaurant for a night, or a snow cone stand. Anything to make a buck or two.

Lately, here in our home, as Craig and I are transforming this base house into a "one of a kind Zaleski home" -- my kids have decided to turn their rooms into their business spaces. 

Let's take a look...

Daziel is offering sculpting classes. His brother and sister have been attending them regularly.

And look what he had them make today? Cute little ducks in duck ponds. How creative my boy is!

 

Colby? He decided to open an Amazing Drink Cafe!

 

Which is an amazing idea because he makes some pretty easy money. Now when I want a glass of my Crystal Light Lemonade, I pay my son 50 cents to pour it for me.  He had to find a way to make money somehow...what a great idea!

The "Jappanes Jiuce" or Japanese Juice was pretty good too. And what I think was even cuter was when I went grocery shopping this week, he asked to make his own list of stuff that he needed for his cafe. Great business sense!

Now Allyssa? She set up shop to do what she KNEW she'd make some money at!

And after a morning of the gym and water aerobics, I definitely go into her little shop and pay for her services!

 

She asks you to sign in when you get to her "shop" -- then when you're leaving, she asks for a comment. She says she wants to know your opinion -- I call that corrective criticism. And I'm impressed, that at nine, she's confident enough to ask for it. Of course, though, all we can give her are good comments. Because my girl, she is great at massages!! I mean, really! I definitely am using some of my spending money at Allyssa's Relaxing Massages...because oohhh, are they relaxing!

 

And girl has got technique, a great "menu" of services...

and a few other added benefits to being a regular customer!

(And looks as though she's a good team leader -- with a staff party coming up and all. I wonder if her dad and I will be invited, since we provide the space and all. Yeah, probably not...)

So that's it folks. The post that required so many pictures. And the ways my kiddos are being inventive entrepreneurs this summer.

 

 

Post Problems -- Stay Tuned

Ok, so things aren't going as planned tonight. I have a post written and am trying to add the pictures (lots of them) to it. But it's taking FOREVER to do that. (Not sure if it's this site or my shotty internet connection?) And I'm tired. And you really need the pictures for that post...so it'll have to wait. 'Cause I've GOT to get to bed! But I didn't want to leave you hanging tonight. I wanted to check in and say "hello". So, sorry no pics...no witty story...no funny jokes. Just me. Saying hello. I hope you had a great weekend. And..good night!

P.S. Stay tuned, I'll publish that post as soon as I can add the pictures.