Charity's Crazy Beautiful Life

Missing him...Killian

Tonight I was wrapping Killian's presents....and an overwhelming feeling came over me. I miss him!!!!!!!!! It's been nine...wait, ten months since we've seen him. 

Since right before we left Montgomery back in February. And I know I'm only his stepmom, but I've been a part of his life for eleven years and it's hard to be so far away. The hardest part tonight has been...putting together an album of family pictures for him. Pictures that he's not in.

 

 Pictures where there needs to be another big brother.

 

 

Pictures where there needs to be another son.

 

Pictures where there's supposed to be one more child. Because our family...it is blended, yes. So most of the time you will only see five of us. But really, there are supposed to be six.

And when I start to focus on that. On how much I miss having him in our lives more. On how I miss the daily interactions, him being a part of our holiday traditions and nightly prayers...it's times like these that I have to pause for a minute and reflect, and be thankful for the time we have had with him.

Thankful for the several folders on my computer filled with pictures of us all together last Christmas. Of the two weeks we got to spend together in Orlando at Disney World before we moved worlds away. Of captured memories like this one...

My tuckered and tired kiddos after a week and a half of Disney World...on Christmas eve in their new pajamas, with their new ornaments and the tiny tree we brought to our hotel room.
 

And on night's like this, after I count my blessings, I ask God for grace. Grace to be the best stepmom I can be. Grace to get through times when I miss Killian. Grace to do all that I can from afar -- sending love, family photos and lots of prayers.

 

PCS Purgatory -- MY side of the story -- part 4

Click to read part one, part two or part three.

It was mid-March, and at the moment the judge was telling us her decision, I was at peace.  Which was odd. Weird, but nice. Especially considering just moments before I was nervous and fidgety. A minute before, I had knots in my stomach and couldn't believe that I was even in court. I really couldn't believe that I had to be in court -- asking that a judge grant me, a military wife, permission to move my son to the Air Force Base in Japan that my husband had been assigned to.

*

But... it was what it was...the situation I was in. An accumulation of my life choices. So I gave it up to God and was at peace the moment the judge told us that...

Yes, we had permission to relocate to Japan with my son, Daziel.

{Sigh} Breathe. Oh, relief!

The judge ordered that my son's father sign the passport paperwork within two days. Pretty much everything else in our parenting plan that had to be changed was due to the distance we were going to be from my boy's father. I will spare you all the legal details, but it all worked out really well in the end. Everything that I was asking for -- I was asking for my son. And pretty much everything I asked for -- was granted.

I couldn't believe it! As I walked out of the courtroom, I was relieved and in disbelief. I couldn't believe that there wasn't a hitch or a hold-up.  That everything had gone so smoothly! After all of the kinks and wrong turns...after all the stress and worry that had been a part of this PCS process for us...it was weird to feel that everything had gone so right. That it looked like there might actually be a "light at the end of the tunnel".

And... as I walked out of the courtroom, I felt bad. I felt bad for questioning. For wondering if things would all work out. I felt bad that God had been so good to me, to my family...and that I hadn't trusted Him to do so all along. And as I walked away from the courthouse that day, I had a little talk with my God. "Lesson learned."

Two days later we got the signed paperwork. Whew, what a relief! But that wasn't the end of it. We had to overnight that paperwork to the agent at our departing base (who was still back in Alabama) so she could overnight it to the State Department where it could be added to the paperwork we had already sent in to start the process. It was supposed to be expedited...processed, approved, and then made into my boy's military passport. We knew that we were dealing with government agencies, and it is peak time for military families to be moving, so we expected that this would still take a few weeks. A month, maybe.

But my husband didn't have a month. Even though things were looking on the bright side, he still had to leave. He had a report no later than date and had to be in Japan by the end of March. But even so, we were still floating on happy thoughts and good vibes because we knew we would be "good to go" soon!

A few days after that, we had to drive to Seattle to take my husband to the airport. He had to leave us so he could do his duty, his job in the Air Force. On one hand, we were still happy that things turned out so well in court just days earlier. But on the other, and on that day, we were a little bummed. We are a military family. And we were excited to be on this journey together. Excited to fly together to our new base in a new country. Excited to get to experience all the "new" things...new house, new car, new neighbors, new (and the list goes on)...together, as a family.  But we tried not to stay in that bummed-out frame of mind for long. Instead of counting the things we were disappointed in, we decided to count our blessings...because after all, we knew that things could definitely be worse!

So, my dear husband was off! He flew to Japan. Alone. I stayed in the northwest, along with three of our kids (remember, Killian lives in Georgia with his mother) and our dog. We decided to make the best of our "waiting game". We started one more round of visits to all of my family (large family) while we waited on Daziel's passport to process. I homeschooled the kids. We waited. We traveled. We waited. We visited more family while we waited some more.

In the meantime, I called our agent weekly to check on the passport's status. She assured me that she'd let me know as soon as it came in. But week after week, I didn't hear from her. And when I didn't, I called. I had to know. I hoped that we would be in Japan, back together as a family, by Easter. 

Nope. Easter came and went and still no passport. Not even a word about a passport. I started calling our agent twice a week. And bless her heart, she was so understanding! She had no control over how fast or slow this would be. But she continued to try to get ahold of the State Department weekly to check on it's progress. And each and every time, we got the same answer back. "It's still being processed".  I was beginning to lose patience. When was this going to end? Why was it taking so long? When would we get to leave? Why did this road have to be so long?

I started thinking, "What, God, am I supposed to be learning here? I'll learn it! Please, I'll do whatever it takes...just let us go...I want to be with my husband." I was tired of living like gypsies...living out of suitcases, staying with this sister or that one...I just wanted to be "home" with my husband.

But still, no passport came...

(To be continued...)

*Pictures are from the "photo shoot" talked about here.

PCS Purgatory -- MY side of the story -- part 3

If you haven't yet (and would like to) read the first parts to our PCS Purgatory story, click here:

part one

part two 

When I left off last, I was talking about the first of the year and how things were hectic as we were in the midst of leaving Alabama on our military move to Japan. We were busy with packers and movers and boxes and goodbyes. Life "in the moment" had taken control; we were busy with the things at hand. It was hard to think ahead to visiting family and international flights when we had to deal with other things that were more pressing. Things like how it was taking three days for our packers to box up our belongings when they had scheduled for one. 

Like how it was harder to take apart our home -- to take down decorations, paint walls back to "air force white", and say goodbye to the house that had become our home. Generally speaking, when we move into a base house, I intentionally do my best to turn it into something special, something we feel proud to call home. For me, that's the easy part. But when we leave, I have to paint it all back and return it to that generic base house that we first walked into -- for the next Airman who will call that house their home.

Is doing all that... is it physically hard? Not nearly as much as it is emotionally difficult.

And as we continued saying our goodbyes in Montgomery, I began to realize something.  I realized that every other military move we have done... I have felt ready for it. That doesn't mean that I loved moving away from family or friends, or that the move was easy. But I knew it was "time" for a new chapter in our life, in our military journey. This time around, it didn't feel like that to me. I had gotten so settled and secure in my life, in our lives, and it hurt me to move away. It was the hardest move I've ever done. And I can't pinpoint why. All I knew was that one night, when I looked out my window and thought, 'I am even going to miss the Alabama sky'...I realized that I was grieving, and that would take some time to process.

 

But time we didn't' have. Our move was in full swing and we still weren't getting the cooperation we needed to get my oldest son's passport. Like I said before, I was worried about what our options were. And added to all the normal stresses of an overseas move... to the movers and packers and goodbyes... was this mess with the passport.

{Sigh} How did this get to be so messy?

I don't know.  But I did know that I was running out of time. That we were planning to spend a month visiting family, and that my husband, my airman, had to report to Japan by the end of March. And that a passport would take about that long to get.

{Sigh again} I started to get worried. What if we couldn't get the passport? What if we couldn't get the signature that we needed? Could Craig turn down his orders or ask for something different? Maybe, but that would not be good for his career, which in turn means that it wouldn't be good for our family. Not to mention, he could ask to turn it down, but it wasn't a guarantee. He had turned down his one-year remote orders to Korea back in 1999, when Allyssa was a newborn baby. Six months later, he had them again -- those same exact orders!

I felt like the well-being of our family rested on my shoulders. That figuring out how to make this move happen -- for us all to be together -- was my job. I asked around for advise, called air force organizations, and went onto a military website in Okinawa and posted questions on their discussion boards. No one that I talked to had ever been in our exact situation. The few people that had somewhat similar stories talked about leaving their child behind with the other parent.

Wow...I was starting to get worried. Unless forced, that was not an option for me. Not for my son or for my family. And what was frustrating was that my oldest -- he was excited about this move. He is looking forward to it. And above all else...that boy and me... we are a family. He's always lived with me. And it's not just me, but his brother and sister...

and the step-dad that he often call's "dad". Craig and I were married when he was 18 months old; it's what he's always known. I was going to do everything I could to keep it that way. Everything I could do to let him know that even though his dad and I weren't agreeing, that none of this...nothing...was his fault. And that we all love him very, very much! I still needed to figure out what to do...

But how? I wasn't sure. I prayed about it and days later, in the middle of a real "low" spot, while I was doing laundry and singing some of my favorite praise songs -- the obvious answer came to me.  Let go and let God -- and get a LAWYER!! So, I spent a few really long days doing some research.

We hired a lawyer in the State of Washington (where my parenting plan for my oldest was filed -- hence, where the case has jurisdiction) and where we were soon going to be visiting family.  I found out that I really needed to update the parenting plan (it's called that because we were never married) that was drawn up ten years ago. That it would need to provide information about how we would work things out (i.e. visitation, the cost of transportation, etc.) while I was in Japan. I also found out that I could file an Intent to Relocate with the court. And since there was a bit of resistance...and I needed a signature for my boy's passport...my lawyer suggested going to court to get the relocation approved.

So, that was a very nerve-wracking step. Hiring the lawyer and filing all of that paperwork. I prayed. I questioned all of it. I wondered, "what am I doing -- having to go to court over THIS??"  I got angry over the thousands of dollars that was being spent. I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Was I handling Daziel's dad in the right way? I prayed some more. I ran through scenarios in my head -- about what if the relocation was not approved? What if my family has to be split up? 

I also thought about how this was affecting my son. Was he feeling like this was his fault? He knew now that we all had our passports, but that he was still waiting on his. I talked to him about how he needed his dad's "go ahead". I tried my best to be neutral when I was talking to him about it. I tried to give him the information that his (then) eleven-year-old questions warranted without tainting it by my views or feelings and without giving him too much information. But on the flip side, I couldn't leave him hanging. He was asking questions, and he deserved some answers.

I tried, with all my motherly love, to make it all better for my boy. And it broke my heart when I could see -- in his demeanor -- that it was hurting him. And that...that hurt me! I prayed more and more. I didn't know why this obstacle was in my path, but I prayed for the courage and strength to go through it all.

This move was so stressful, and my anxiety level was rising. We saw Killian for the last time and said very sad "see you soon"'s to him. As we traveled from Alabama to Wisconsin...from warm weather to snow...I was met with even more hurdles...the anniversary of my step-dads death, saying hello's and then shortly after, goodbye's, to family...things that would normally be hard. Stressful. But with everything else on my plate, it all seemed to be such a huge weight. So hard to deal with. Such a heavy burden.  

Despite, I tried my best to keep a positive attitude. To be happy for my family while we were traveling. To not let the stress get to me. I look back now, and I don't know that I always succeeded. 

During the weeks leading up to our court date... the date set to see if the judge would grant me, a military wife, permission to move my son to the Air Force Base in Japan that my husband had been assigned to... my stomach was in knots. I was beginning to see physical sings of the stress that I was enduring. It wasn't good.

I don't know exactly how I made it through that hard month of sleepless nights. Yes... I do. The Grace of God. Because He doesn't give us anything that we cannot handle. Because eventually, in there, I was able to take some deep breathes and know that I no longer had control. That there wasn't anything more I could do about it, and that the outcome was going to be what it was going to be.

On my way into the courtroom on that March morning, just days before our scheduled flight to Japan, the knots in my stomach started to return.  So over and over in my head I recited The Serenity Prayer. As cliche as it may seem, it was helpful. The repeated...

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

It helped. As I sat in that courtroom...my mom and my husband by my side... with my son's father, waiting for the judge to tell us her ruling on the parenting plan and the request to relocate, I had peace before I ever even knew the outcome.. 

(to be continued...)

PCS Purgatory -- MY side of the story -- part 2

If you missed part 1 and would like to read it, click here.

I am realizing that talking about this with all of you is therapeutic. So before I start, I want to say, thanks for listening (or reading). And if you can really make it through all of this drivel, a really big thank you!

Ok, so where were we? Oh yeah...the passport...and about how we thought that things were going to go according to planned.  How we had hoped that things would be stress-free. As much as a move from Alabama to Japan -- with three kids (Killian lives with his mom, remember), a dog, and a month of visiting family on the way -- could be. But then, things began to turn upside down, and inside out...and suddenly...they were spinning...

How did all that spinning begin? Hmmnn...In order to PCS (move) to an overseas location in the military, we are required to have a military passport. This differs from a regular tourist passport in that the regular passport allows you to visit a country for 90 days. A military passport allows us to live in that country for as long as we are on orders to be there.

Before we left Montgomery to move to Japan, we had to work on getting our military passports.  This takes some time, as passports usually do, so we applied for them well before we left Alabama so we wouldn't have to worry. When we applied for the kids' passports, though, they told us that it may take a bit longer to get them for our oldest boys. Why? Because they each have a different parent, and that they would need to consent too.

Ok -- we thought optimistically; this shouldn't be too difficult. We thought that both Killian's mother and Daziel's father would be pretty agreeable. We were asking that Killian come to Japan during his visiation times... he had come all the way to Washington from Georgia when we were stationed at Fairchild AFB. And that wasn't a problem then.  And we were planning to have Daziel move with us (as he has always done), and come back to the states when it was his time to see his father. In my mind, it was not too much different, really, than living across the country. It wouldn't change that we weren't close enough for every-other weekend type of things, and visitation would be able to happen just as frequently. 

So, we thought that everyone would be ok with that. Why would there be an objection?  I mean, this move is because of the military. It's not like it's a whim or because of some crazy, fly by the seat of our pants kind of thing. It is a military move, we have orders, and when it comes down to it... not much of a choice. 

So contact was made in an effort to get the signatures the we needed for the older boys' passports. And understandably there were concerns, questions, and some resistance. We were moving thousands of miles away. We were no longer just going to be across the country, we were going to be across the globe. 

We encouraged discussion from our exes -- that questions about the move, the base, about the schools and kids programs should be asked.  I was happy to answer them. I had to answer them for my kids everyday. I had to research it for myself, too, when I needed reassurance and reminders about why we were uprooting our family and moving to the other side of the world. Eventually Killian's mother signed the paperwork. We cheered and said hurray -- one more hurdle in the midst of this mountainous move had been overcome.

We patiently waited for questions to come from Daziel's father. We waited for concerns to be discussed. We talked to the kids and got them excited about this move. Excited because of the awesome culture we'd get to experience, that the Japanese island of Okinawa has so many great things to do... that we'd be living by lots of beaches, and who doesn't love beaches? We discussed how we are a military family, and this is what we do. We talked about how we're grateful to have each other. And we tried our best not to dwell on the fact that we were leaving friends, scout troops, sport teams, and a community that we loved. We tried our best to look on the bright side.

Then...we waited. For those questions and concerns to come rolling in. For some dialogue about how our blended family was going to make this work. We kept waiting and waiting...and while we waited... packers came and boxes were filled. Moving trucks were loaded and rooms were painted. Good times were cherished, the rest of our passports came in, goodbye's were sadly said, and our travels began. Because...we were on orders.

And still, the questions never came. I tried to have sympathy and understanding, but time was running short. My son needed a passport to go to Japan, and he didn't have one. The spinning...it was getting faster.

So I freely gave information. I emailed websites about anything I could think of that may have held answers to where the silent opposition lay.  We signed up for skype and vonage so we'd have many ways to communicate from abroad.  But still...nothing but the response that things still had to be figured out. That consent was not given for us to move to Japan with his son; permission was not yet granted.  There was no discussion, no dialogue, no trying to compromise or figure it out. And why, I cannot exactly say... lots of water under the bridge. I will not begin to place blame here, but I will say that I felt sad. Sad that this is what our parental relationship had been reduced to. Sad that we didn't communicate much, and when we did, it wasn't well.  

I was also sad for my family, that the workings of the stereotypical "blended family" was raring it's ugly head. That it looked like there may be a kink in the plans. I was especially sad for Daziel... that his biological parents couldn't communicate. I was sad that he knew that everyone else had a passport except for him.

I felt backed into a corner. I didn't know what to do. What were our options? If Daziel didn't have a passport, he couldn't go to Japan. And I...I couldn't go to Japan without my son...

(to be continued)

*Pictures are from our family vacation to Disney World last Christmas.

Happy 12th Birthday, Killian!!

Pictures for this post are from our trip to Disney World this last Christmas, one of the last times we were all together...

 

Today, our son Killian -- Craig's son Killian -- my step-son Killian -- ok, we just went over this a few days ago...our son Killian, turn's twelve. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KILLIAN!!!

  

We normally have Killian on his Birthday because he's usually with us for visitation during his summer break. But, considering circumstances, we're not all together right now. Craig's in Japan. Killian's in Georgia with his mom. And me and the rest of our crew are in the northwest. Which kind of stinks. No Birthday Breakfast. No big celebration. Craig told me when he called today that he tried to call to wish Killian a Happy Birthday earlier, but he wasn't home. Hopefully that means he was out celebrating.

 

If we were all together -- we'd be celebrating!! It stinks that we're not all together. It stinks when we miss out on important days with Killian!

So what I'd like to say today is...

Killian, we miss you! We love you!! And, Happy Birthday!!!

For the love of -- Daziel

Two weekends ago my oldest child, my first born, my very first baby boy turned twelve.

 

As a parent, watching your children grow -- and grow -- and grow is a bit bittersweet. I would even venture to say it can be hard. I remember holding my babies, and watching them toddle around, and their first this and their first that...their first day of school. So having to endure my son's 12th Birthday when I still remember his 1st very vividly...yep, you got it! Hard. 

  

What made it even harder was that we were in the middle of this move to Japan.  So, my poor boy was away from his friends that he's had for the last four years.  And yes, as we always try to remember, 'tis the way of military life.  And we try not to complain. But sometimes it is hard. So, especially because of that -- because of being in transition, I didn't want the day to just come and go without a bang! We are in the middle of moving and I wanted to make it special. I wanted Daziel to know that our traditions and our family is what we make it, no matter where we go. 

So I asked Daziel what he wanted to do on his special day. He of course wanted his Birthday Breakfast -- because that is a tradition in our family.  No matter what day we celebrate your birthday and have your party, no matter if it's a big party or just dinner with a friend, we always, always, start your actual birthday out with a special Birthday Breakfast. Whatever you want it to be, whether that is pancakes with m&m's and cool whip... or what Daziel requested this year... eggs benedict perfected by Uncle Darold. 

When I was planning what else we'd do for the rest of Daziel's birthday, I was a bit surprised by his reaction. I offered to take him to Silverwood, a theme park not too far from here. I told him we could take him to play laser tag, or to go fishing...but my boy, he just nodded and with a ho-hum little voice he said "yeah, whichever will be ok".  So I thought, and I talked to my boy, and I thought some more. What was making him so glum? He finally told me he was bummed about not getting to spend his birthday with my husband, Craig. You see...Craig was gone last summer too -- he was deployed for four months.  So my boy was bumming about that...and who can blame him? This whole moving and being away from the ones you love kind of stinks. But, Craig's already in Japan, we're here, there wasn't much I could do about that.

So, I thought and thought some more...about my boy and what he was feeling. And I thought of another option for his birthday, an option I was a bit hesitant to suggest.

You see, we are staying with my sister Angela -- who just so happens to live in the same town as Daziel's father.  So, I worked up the courage and I set my feelings aside -- I asked Daziel if he'd like us to have a family barbecue with his dad and all his dad's family. His eyes lit up, he smiled and said "yeah!".  So, I went about planning it out. Daziel and I even sat down one evening to plan it out with his father.  Because even though his father and I aren't best buds, and even though we've had some very major disagreements that were/are being worked out... I thought it was still very important for us to wave a white flag, to call a truce, and to throw a party -- together -- for our son. So Daziel could see us working together for him.  We hadn't done a party together for Daziel since his 3rd Birthday. I wasn't so sure that I was up to it.  But I was sure it was what my boy wanted -- so that's what he got!

 

He got to spend the day with all of us (who could make it on such short notice) together...with his father...

 

with his beautiful grandma, who I love so much!  (And even though it's been 12 1/2 years since I've dated her son, I have a feeling she loves me too. As she walked into the backyard, she was carrying two huge trays of her homemade enchiladas. And as she was giving me a great big hug, she told me that she made them especially because she remembers that they were my favorite -- gosh, I really do love her!!)

 

He got to spend the day with his uncle -- who -- wow! Doesn't he look so much like!?!!

 

Daziel got to have his wonderful aunts there. It's funny, because I really love his father's family. I was a part of their family for the 2-ish years that we dated. And it was nice to see them and to visit with them for an afternoon. It was nice to see how we could all come together for the same goal ...

 

to play and have fun...

 

to slip and slide...

 

to do a pinata "the right way"...

  

to scramble for the candy (as I was showing my mom these pictures, she remarked about how much I look like Daz's grandma in these pictures -- weird)...

 

to enjoy the yummy mexican candies inside of it..

 

which was followed by a special cake made by Uncle Darold and decorated by Aunt Angie, and cousin, Bethany.

 

That day was all about making sure that a very special "little" boy felt very, very loved!!

Beautifully Blended

I think most of you know by now know that Craig and I have four kids. His, mine, and ours. Really, we don't really think of it that way.  As a matter of fact, I think we both just think "we have four kids".  And we do. In our hearts, we do. But when it comes to some of the logistics of running this family, our holidays and vacations, our family pictures, how our hearts always feel like there's something missing when one of our kids isn't with us, the legal hurdles we have to jump over visitation, child support, moving and passports -- sometimes, it's not that easy -- because we're blended.

 

(Pictures from our last family photo shoot in November of last year.)

A "blended" family...what does that really mean, anyhow?  Are we the modern day Brady Bunch? Well, kind of -- but not quite! I'm definitely not nearly as perky as Carol Brady and unfortunately, we don't have an Alice.  What it means is that sometimes life is a bit more difficult. And because I've had lots of questions lately about how we manage our blended family (I think the circumstances of this move have spawned many of those questions), I figured I'd start a new category here on this blog entitled "Beautifully Blended".  Now, don't be deceived, folks. Because sometimes, it's not easy to manage, and sometimes, it doesn't feel so beautiful.  But when we reflect back on the lessons we have learned, and the lives we live, we have to embrace what we've got...four beautiful children.

 

This "section" won't be all peaches and cream, because a blended family isn't. To be honest, this section will probably be more like lemons and cream -- which can still be tasty, but is a bit sour too. This section will probably be from a deeper place in me, a place you all don't get to see (read) about that often, but I'm just trying to keep it real. It's a bit exposing and a little scary to share it on here because some of it, let's face it folks, is heart-wrenching, crappy kind of stuff.  Thanks ahead of time for understanding, or at least trying to. Having a blended family is not what either Craig or I had planned when we thought of having a family many years ago.  Being "step-parents" and constantly dealing with exes isn't always a walk in the park. But it is what it is.  It's our crazy life, and we try to make the best of it. I hope that my sharing this with you will give you a little insight, or be helpful in some way.  If nothing else, it will maybe clear up a few questions you've had about us.  And hopefully you'll see how we try our hardest to take these lemons and make lemonade.

And just in case you don't already know, let me introduce to you the "ingredients in our blender"...

Daziel is my son who just turned 12, he lives with us and has visitation with his dad. He is a quiet introvert, until you get to know him.  When you do and he's "warmed up", he livens up -- a bit. He likes to joke around, make you laugh, and give bear hugs.  He lives on cloud 9 alot of the time which doesn't help him much when it comes time to get his homework done, but it definitely makes him a "dreamer".  He's artistic, musical and an awesome big brother!  He loves computers and video games and in our house, he is affectionately known as the "tech geek", a name he is proud to own. He's my kid that complains the least, easily goes with the flow, and does what he's told, even when he doesn't want to do it. (Unless, of course, he didn't hear ya 'cause he's on that cloud again.) That's my oldest, and we call him Daz.

Killian is Craig's son who will be 12 next week.  He lives with his mom in Georgia and we try to see him as much as we possibly can. When we can't, we miss him terribly!  He's shy too, until you get to know him.  He likes to joke around too (could this just be their age?) and has a very sarcastic sense of humor.  Killian likes to play sports and is always willing to pull out a skateboard , jump on a pogo stick, or do flips on the trampoline. He's mature beyond his years and already, neighborhood girls come over to play more often when he's around.  He's Craig's oldest and we call him...as much as we can 'cause we miss him!

Allyssa and Colby are "ours" and they're with us all the time. Unless, of course, I have any offers out there. Anybody? Anybody? I'm willing to negotiate!! What? No takers!?!!! Ok good, 'cause I was just teasin' anyhow!

 

So this, this is Allyssa who will be ten in September. She's our only girl (who just looked over my shoulder and said "I liked those shoes!!"), so yes, she's a little bit girlie!  She likes cute shoes, sunglasses and lipgloss.  She's an overachiever who is precocious and witty, but she also has three brothers so she's got a bit of a "tom boy" burried in her too.  She likes sports and climbing trees. She loves to swim, run, and play soccer. She loves to draw, do skits, listen to music and she's a good friend! She's my partner in organization and getting things done, our own little mother hen, and has been accused of being like her mother a time or two. (Boy do I hope she thinks that's a compliment!)  She's our only girl, who her daddy calls "baby" (I'm not sure if he's ever even watched Dirty Dancing -- should I warn him?). 

 

Last, but definitely not least, is our soon to be seven-year-old, Colby.  He is truly our baby, but don't ever let him hear you say it! He's filled with an outgoing energy that makes you want to strangle him and roll on the floor laughing every time he comes up with one of his antics.  He's a true boy in every sense of the word -- he loves dirt, fast cars, airplanes, and sports, sports, sports!! And funny enough, he never ceases to tire out!  Everyone says he looks just like his dad, to which he proudly answers, "yep, I'm his twin...but shorter!".  When he was going through his terrible two's I would say to people (out of his earshot, of course) that had he been my first child, he would have been my only. God knew what he was doing bringing him along last! He's a handful, for sure, but he's so dang funny we forgive him for it.  And believe it or not, this little chap, at times, can be my cuddliest child too!  Life with Colby is never boring, and he's the kind of person you don't easily forget. We call him hauss, monster, bubba...I think you get the picture.

So that's them -- OUR four children. His, mine, but mostly, ours!!