We’re on the road - headed to Orlando for our Christmas Disney World vacation. And I mean that literally. We are sitting in our van and are on the road. Oh do I love technology!
The kids aren’t bored…they’re watching a movie. I’m not bored…I’m blogging. We used to travel (car travel) a bunch when I was a kid. Back then I would have never thought that when my kids were the age I was then they would get to watch movies while traveling...who woulda thunk! And I used to be against the whole DVD player in the car idea, but not anymore. Now, we don’t turn it on every time we get in the car. For that matter, we usually don’t turn it on. But for long trips, it’s nice. Real nice!
You know what’s not nice? A husband who drinks a lot of coffee. Especially when said husband has a weak bladder.
I’m not joking when I say…my husband is worse than a child being potty-trained! He has to stop to pee SO much it’s unbelievable! (Isn’t this a medical condition?) In our family, it has kind of become a joke. Especially because it “hits him fast” so most of the time he has to pull over on the side of the road. Like today...
No folks, that's not BIG FOOT you see hiding in those trees...
Really. Seriously. I am now calling this syndrome the "I Can't Hold It While Traveling Syndrome." Prime example – it was the summer of ’05 and we were driving from Fairchild AFB, WA to Montgomery, AL because of our military move to Maxwell AFB. I was driving the van filled with our children. Craig was driving his truck filled with all of the things they refused to pack for us (candles, cleaning supplies – hey, that stuff is expensive to replace), the stuff I refused to let them pack for us (sentimental keepsakey kind of things), and our dog. I think we were somewhere in South Dakota when Craig got on the radio (yes, I said that correctly – back then he refused to have a cell phone so we used walkie talkies to talk to each other. So Craig got on his radio and told me,
“Charity, I’m gonna have to use the bathroom soon. How are you guys doing?”
I looked in the rearview mirror at my four children and said, “Hey kids, your dad has to stop and use the restroom. How about you? Anyone else need to go to the bathroom?”
They all looked at me, even a recently potty-trained Colby, and said “Nooooo.” Why that response? Because we had stopped so many times already that day for potty breaks.
"So, I got on my radio to Craig and said, “The kids are ok. But I guess I could use some gas, so why don’t we stop at a gas station to kill two birds with one stone."
“Ok” he answered back, “I’ll stop at the next one.”
We got lucky – not five minutes down the road we saw signs for a gas station at the next exit. So Craig goes to take that exit and abruptly pulls over to the shoulder of the road and stops on the off ramp. What was wrong? I thought maybe he was getting a flat or there was something wrong with our dog or – and then I see Craig hopping out of his trucking and running to the passenger side where he proceeded to pee on his tire – yes – just like our dog. (There’s a reason why they’re called man’s best friend.) He hurried and hopped back into his truck and drove to the gas station that was only about 100 yards away.
When we got out I said, “Whoa, what happened back there? Just a little further and you would have had a bathroom, dear.”
He replied, “Yeah, I know, but it hit me fast --- I really had to go!”
It’s funny, too, because he’s not usually this way. Only when we’re traveling. I’m not sure why. Surely it’s something psychological. I kind of feel bad for the guy. Luckily, he can just go pick a bush, or a tree, and then we can mosey on along our way. And yes, I stock up on hand sanitizer when we’re traveling.
Only a few more hours and we’ll be in Orlando. Hopefully not too many more bathroom stops before then. (Can I call them bathroom stops when the peeing happens on bushes and tires?) I can feel the excitement in the car…Disney World, here we come!